Published on December 9th, 2014 | by Daniel Dalman0
Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever
For some bizarre and inexplicable reason, Daniel watches Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever, which we didn’t even know was a thing. Unfortunately, we do now.
I love three things in life: 1) Cats 2) Christmas and 3) Television. So, you can imagine my excitement when I learned that not only would Grumpy Cat, the ever meme-able frowny cat, be starring in a movie, but that movie would air on Lifetime during the holidays. Cut to: Exploding head.
I thusly concluded that the convergence of Internet fame, cheesy lifetime melodrama, and adorable dwarf felineness certainly spelled out one of two different options. Either this movie would be the greatest of the modern television holiday classics, or fail so spectacularly that I wouldn’t be able to bear looking at my Grumpy Cat Calendar for the remainder of 2014.
However, upon watching (and re-watching because, hey – I don’t have a life!) the so poignantly titled ‘Worst Christmas Ever’ it’s not clear on which side of the divide the movie falls.
Here is the gist of what goes down in the movie: Grumpy Cat is, despite her incredible cuteness, an unadoptable mall pet store animal because of her inherent grumpiness. People in this made-for-TV reality have apparently never encountered a real cat, because Grumpy acts not wholly un-similar to the rest of the feline persuasion. Grumpy spends her days curled up in a pet store window being grumpy and passing judgment on the fellow animals on display. In this capacity Grumpy makes multiple references to this being a Christmas movie, and her displeasure with the saccharine nature of that particular movie genre. That doesn’t stop her from saving Christmas though.
Getting second billing after the cat, is a precocious, unpopular girl named Crystal who hangs around the mall being lonely and waving at employees while they work. Crystal just moved to town and is desperate need of companionship. Enter Russell Peters as Santa Claus and the appearance of a magic wishing well wish and voila! Crystal can hear Grumpy Cat talk. This gives Grumpy Cat an audience for some pretty cheesy one-liners. And also happens to be what the movie does right — Grumpy one liners, quick cuts to Grumpy Cat in various costumes, meta conversations surrounding the film’s budget, and disbelief that a movie about an Internet cat was made.
In a perfect world the little girl’s character would be more relatable and less whiney, and the movie would properly delve into full on Christmas schmaltz instead of merely skipping around the periphery. I would have preferred Grumpy to learn the true meaning of Christmas, or stow away in Santa’s sleigh, or even be visited by three ghosts. Instead, the non-cat parts of the movie rely a little too heavily on the antics of some numbskull thieves that want to steal a dog that is inexplicably worth one million dollars, the sale of which would save the pet store from financial disaster.
I won’t spoil the ending because it will no doubt be replayed till January but I will say that the bumbling thieves shtick feels a little been-there, done-that. And Macaulay Culkin, Grumpy Cat is not. There are, however, a number of delightful scenes, which will make great holiday GIFs: Grumpy Cat driving a car, Grumpy Cat shooting a paint ball gun, Grumpy Cat in a Santa hat, etc. Therein lies the appeal of Grumpy Cat — she is an Internet celebrity and not quite a movie star.